» New fairness cream promises excellent marks in Board Exams


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New Delhi. Millions of kids
currently feeling the
pressure of board
examinations in India may
have found an unlikely ally
in their battle against the
pressure – a fairness
cream. No Dark, a leading
fairness cream brand has
claimed that regular use of
their cream helps kids
perform better during the
board examinations.
Speaking to Faking News,
Mr. Das, Vice-President
(Marketing) of No Dark
said, “The use of our cream
helps students reach their
full potential during an
exam. So many students
fail to do so during the
exam due to the stress
they are under. Our cream
helps to get rid of
pressure as we all know
fair people don’t feel any
pressure. They are always
cool and calm. This cream
brings out the real
diamond in them.”
“Add to that the fact that
teachers turn a blind eye
to a fair student using
unfair means in an exam
and concentrate on the
dark-skinned children
instead. So, our cream is
also effective for people
who rely on chits and the
students sitting ahead of
them to get through the
exams,” he went on to add.
When asked whether he
had any data to back up
his claim that fair
students do better in an
exam, Mr. Das snapped at
us and said, “If fairness
cream can help you do well
in your career, or if a
fairness cream can help
you get lucky with the
opposite sex then why
can’t a fairness cream
help students do well in
the exams?”
Mr. Das also said, “We are
not the first ones to
promote fairness among
kids, United Nations has
been trying to spread
fairness in kids throughout
the world for several
decades through their
organization for kids,
UNICEF, United Nations
International Council for
Expanding Fairness.”
We didn’t bother to
correct him on UNICEF lest
he snaps at us again.
While we remained
skeptical, students
seemed to be very open to
trying this cream. Sushma,
a class X student said,
“These days the
competition is so intense,
Thousands of students
overtake you if you lose
even a single mark. If this
cream can help me get
even 1 mark, I will consider
it money well spent. After
all, I don’t want to
disappoint my parents like
my sister who only got 93
% in her 10th exams. ”
While a class XII student,
Rajbir said, “It is good. Only
thing is that they should
have priced it a little
higher. The way we take
money from our parents
for tuitions and spend it
on beer and pool, we could
have done the same for
this cream. Now, thanks to
the lousy budget thing, I
can’t even buy a cigarette
pack in the cost of this
cream.”
When we informed HRD
Minister of State Shashi
Tharoor of this whole
pseudo-science, he
promised to take action,
but later was found re-
tweeting a tweet from
Naveen Jindal that claimed
that students could get
better marks in exams if
they wore tri-vortex
‘tiranga ’ bangles.

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