We all have our own motives while fighting. Sometimes we want to have our say in the way the relationship works, sometimes we want to prove that we’re right, sometimes we want to show that they are wrong. Whatever the motives are – it’s good to know what your reasons are for picking a fight.
You could apply some rules to your arguments. Fights often get ugly when both of you raise your voices, swear at each other or get physical. To avoid these situations, always treat the other person the way you would like to be treated yourself. Find out more in ourFighting: Do’s and Don’ts.
If you and your partner are fighting over the same issue again and again, there might be a long standing, unresolved dispute. There are different ways of approaching such a stalemate. You can step back and look at the fights from a distance – go beyond the petty issues and find out what actually is causing discontent. What kind of disagreements are negotiable and which ones aren’t. If you feel outside help would benefit your relationship, maybe you could go to a counsellor specialised in relationship conflicts.